Why am I punishing myself?

I have just read a very scary article on the Today Show website (http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/35125799/ns/today-today_health/page/2/) It is all about how women who are overweight may not get the same treatment from doctors, they may not work as hard to find out what is wrong with you. People tell you not to be so hard on yourself or to forgive yourself for certain things. How the hell can you be OK with yourself if the people that are supposed to help keep you safe and healthy are the same people that may not care enough to figure out what is wrong with you medically? What is that about??

I am always hard on myself, even though some may not see it. I compare myself to everyone else. The grass is always greener. I don't know why it is just the way I am. I resent myself, my situation, my choices. I should be done with college but I'm not, I should be financially independent but I'm not, I should have already lost all this weight but I haven't. I have to stop beating myself up and comparing myself to everyone else. I need to sit down and make a plan, I need to make a plan for not only how to lose the weight but how to be OK with myself. What do I need to do to be OK with me? It isn't going to be easy but nothing worth doing is ever easy. I have people that tell me all the time that I am sweet, strong, pretty and a good person. I don't believe it though. I never have, I need to be OK with myself at some point and the harder I work the closer I will be to being OK.