I was thinking today about what 2012 might bring and while most people have already broken their New Years resolutions I am still working on the promise I made to myself... this year I am going to love ME!! I am going to put ME first, I am going to do whats best for ME!!!! I have been tested and had some very hard things thrown at me.
I lost the most amazing man on the face of this earth, my father, to a disease that no one really can understand unless you have been through it. I still don't know if I understand what he faced. I am stronger for being his daughter and for learning what understanding and compassion was by watching the example he and my mother set for me growing up.
After he died I was lost and made the mistake of falling in love with a man who was much older and not right at all for me. He treated me well in the beginning until the lies he told me started to fall apart. Everyone saw that he was wrong for me, even me, but I so badly wanted to see him become the man I thought he could be. I let him get away with many things.... cheating... lying... making me feel as though there was something wrong with me, something I wasn't doing right... In the end I grew stronger and learned to say goodbye to a person that wasn't good for me.
Everyone has baggage, demons, things that have tested them.... I have mine...
I am porcelain, I have been through the fire and have come out stronger. I may have my flaws but I am not going to break, bend maybe.. but never break. I am done hating things about myself, wondering what could have been, wondering where I would be now if things were different. ENOUGH WITH THE WONDERING!!!!!
I will accept my flaws and move on, improve what I can and love what I can't no matter what. Whether that is my body, my life, or my job. I have overcome things that would break a person... I am porcelain.... I am stronger than I look. I may bend but I sure as hell won't break.
Love it! You go girl! Love you. Mom
ReplyDelete