Cleaning and the Dangers it brings

After 3 weeks of being all alone in the house my mom and Mike being gone they are finally coming home. YAYAYAY! Not only am I excited but I am pretty sure the small monster dog (also known as Brooklyn) will be thrilled to have them back as well. Mike and Brooklyn are pretty good buddies and I think she has missed him dearly. No one can quite throw her toys like he can.  As with any return of the Madre and her bf I am running around like a crazy person trying to clean things and get them back up to par. After vacuuming the house and cleaning counter tops etc I decided that I would start my spring cleaning as well.


Ahh spring cleaning, it is always so much fun. Every year around this time I feel the need to do a deep clean on my vehicle, room etc. SO last night I decided to tackle the car, vacuum out all the gravel and other little cling on pieces from over the winter. I was feeling pretty proud of myself using the Shop Vac until all of a sudden there was no longer any suction. I turned the shop vac off and rattled the tub only to hear what sounded like a pill bottle. I SUCKED UP A DAMN BOTTLE OF EXCEDRIN! Now it is stuck half way down the tube and I can’t get it out, I spent the better part of 15 mins trying to shake it out, smacking the tube on the driveway trying to get it loose but to no avail. I will be stopping by Sears today to buy another shop vac tube (thank goodness they are only 20 bucks). I am pretty sure I provided some entertainment for the neighborhood though. Maybe because at one point of my shaking and smacking the tube on the ground I got a little to into it and hit myself in the head with the tube. I am pretty sure one of my neighbors almost peed his pants as he walked his dog by my house because he was laughing so hard. Yep, I am cool like that. ;) Cleaning can be a dangerous job!

Beads and blogs

Bead, beads, beads, bracelets, beads!! I am obsessed!! I have had the crafting bug lately! Most recently I learned how to make these beautiful wrap bracelets. They are incredibly time consuming, each one taking anywhere from 3-6 hours depending on the size of the beads that you are using but the end result is beautiful. I guess 3-6 hours in the grand scheme of things isn’t that time consuming. But when you are just sitting there sewing beads in between two pieces of leather it can seem like a long time. I have made 4 of these already with another 2 to go. I will do more then just that since they are such great gifts but I think for my sanity I need to take a break.


Not too much else going on just work as per usual but I did find out this morning that my very best friend in the whole wide world is coming for a visit! Yay, Jenny will be here! You know this is the strange thing about a blog, it is cathartic in a way. I know a very small group of people read this but in some way I feel like writing it means something. My life isn’t exciting, not anymore so then anyone elses. I started this blog to help keep me accountable on my journey to lose weight but somewhere along the way it turned into something else. I think in this day and age it is a good way to keep up with people. I know that I get more information about my friend and family through Facebook than anywhere else. Is that healthy? Are blogs weird? Any thoughts?

Bluebirds and blue skys

FRIDAY, FRIDAY, FRIDAY!!! Did I mention that I was happy it was Friday? This week felt like a long one for some reason. Maybe because Spring has finally come to Alaska. All week is has been beautiful, sunny and trying to get warmer and the last place I wanted to be was cooped up in an office building. In about a month the trees will be green and it will begin to look like summer. I CANT WAIT!! I woke up this morning feeling wonderful, the sun was just starting to come over the mountains, I had my snuggly Shih Tzu snoring away next to me and I was warm and cozy in bed. There are days when I feel down and then there are days like today that make up for them. I realize in these moments that I am lucky, so very lucky. I have my health, the love of my family and amazing friends (cue small animated bluebirds singing in the background). I live in one of the most beautiful places in the world, a place that people dream about coming to. Life is good. What brings on this attitude you ask? Lots of things!


Number 1: Last night I was able to spend some time with my brother which was great! Andy has become such a great guy. He is caring, funny and genuine. I love the fact that I have a brother that I can say “I love you” to him in front of his friends and he will say it right back. Andy you are amazing and remind me so much of Dad in the way you treat people. I am so proud to call you my brother!! The rest of my family is just as amazing, my sister is fabulous with her quick wit and caring demeanor, my mom is so supportive of all of us and what our dreams/desires are. I have the best family!!

Number 2: I have my health and I am young enough to make the changes I need to make without any long term side effects. That’s a big one. I woke up this morning with hope. I can lose weight! I am perfectly capable of it and I am starting to gather a team around me to help me achieve this goal.

Life is good! I am blessed. I just have to remind myself of that from time to time.

Changes

Change…. Sometimes we embrace it sometimes we run from it. I am normally someone who is a little afraid of change, afraid of big changes anyways. I feel as though one is needed and it needs to happen sometime soon. I am at that point in my life. I will be 25 in June (the age I always thought I would be a grown up by) and I feel like now I really need to spread my wings. Maybe a change of scenery is just what the doctor ordered.

Anchorage is a comfortable place, a big city by Alaskan standards but not huge. I think we are just shy of 300,000 people here. I want something bigger, more urban… I was originally thinking Seattle or Portland but the more I think about it the more I am tempted to head further south on the West Coast. Before I lived in Anchorage my family and I were living in Huntington Beach, California. My mom and her boyfriend were actually just down there visiting our old neighbors. This got me thinking; why not go back to old stomping grounds? The weather there is beautiful, sunny and in the 70s most day with a wonderful breeze coming off the ocean. I miss the beach, the outdoor markets, and the sunshine. Granted I feel as though at my current weight I don’t feel like I belong with the beautiful people living in the OC but I could get there, maybe it would be good incentive. Could I do it? Could I really pack up and move to California? Why not? There isn’t anything here to stop me. Hmmmmmm I see big moves on the horizon. California here I come? You might see me and my trusty Shih Tzu side kick headed for sun and sand sooner then you think.

Evil Photos

A little down time today so I thought I would write, I haven’t in a very, very long time. Nothing earth shattering to report just life as usual, still fighting the battle of the bulge, not seeming to make much progress. I guess the biggest news is that my family and I will be taking a trip to Europe this summer for a cruise, but first we will spend a week in Wisconsin for my Cousin Jake’s wedding. Both are big events, both will require pictures to be taken. I don’t want to be the blimp in the background anymore.

I was recently looking through pictures taken at previous family reunions with the L’Heureux and Gunkel clan and I noticed a similarity in every group photo taken. The similarity is that I always hide behind someone so that it is just my face that is showing. The beauty of having a very large family (my mom is 1 of 8 siblings and my dad was 1 of 5) is that there are always plenty of relatives to use as camaflogue in pictures. I have found that cousins work best. Not the really little ones though, they don’t cover enough surface area but the ones that are pre teens or a little older are just tall enough that I can see over them and if I can have two stand in front of me they cover my body perfectly in photos. I have this down to a science. Sad isn’t it? Also never face the camera head on, always turn to the side, it is a much better angle. Interesting what you think of as a fat girl isn’t it? I hate pictures of myself. I avoid them if I can, but it’s sad. I want to be in those pictures and to look back at them and be proud of how I look. Right now that isn’t the case.

Every post I have put on this blog has pretty much been about the struggles with my weight. The thing is that losing weight is a pretty simple science, calories in vs. calories out. Shouldn’t be that hard right? So WHY does it seem impossible? I guess impossible may be the wrong word, hard may be more the word I am looking for. It is hard. Hard to stay motivated hard not to cheat when there is no one watching you. Eating crappy food is so much easier, a frozen pizza, fast food, the quick premade stuff at the grocery store. It is convenient but in no way, shape or form good for you. I did the South Beach Diet for awhile and that worked well for me but at some point I gave up, made excuses and fell off the wagon. Why is it so hard for me to do this? I hate the way my body looks, in clothes and even more out of clothes. This should be enough for me to be motivated shouldn’t it? Or the fact that while I may be healthy now 20-40 years I could start to have serious health related issues because of my weight, shouldn’t that be enough? WHY ISNT IT?? What is stopping me? I don’t have an answer. Maybe I am just lazy, maybe I am scared of what losing weight would mean. I need to look deeper. I hope I find an answer. The goal for Europe/Wedding in WI is to be down 50 pounds. Day 1 today, starting anew. Wish me luck.