2012 Resolutions

I hate New Years resolutions... mainly because I make them and then never follow through. This year I am not going to make a resolution per say. I am going to make a promise to myself.

I promise to put myself first, put my health first (both mental and physical) and make sure that at the end of the day I am happy.

I have spent too long worrying about how others feel, what they need, how I can help. While that is all fine and good I have also put myself in the backseat, because it is easier to focus on others and making them happy as opposed to focusing on myself and finding the root of why I am unhappy. Life for me, (for the most part) is good. I enjoy my job. I have money to pay my bills and I have some amazing friends. I am blessed in that sense. I just need to take the time to focus on me. Time to take the things I have been wishing for and make them into a reality. That means a lot of hard work and self reflection. I have a feeling that 2012 will bring big changes for me. Not sure what all they will be but for better or for worse I am ready. :)

Thankful

I am a sucker for this time of year, Christmas is by far my favorite holiday!! Nothing bad ever seemed to happen at Christmas which always made it feel magical to me. Even as an adult the feeling still remains. It isn't about the gifts, giving or receiving, it's about the people you care about. I know how corny this sounds and if those of you reading this are gagging I am sorry... It's true though.

I am thankful for my family and very grateful that we are all so close. I am thankful for my friends, especially those that have stuck by me through the hardest times in my life (i.e. Jenny Tanner, I love you girly!!) I am thankful for everything my dad taught me before he passed;
1. Be an honest person, if you don't have your word you don't have anything
2. Work hard, it's the only way to get what you want
3. Treat others with kindness and respect, if you can help someone in a time of need then do it.
4. Above all value family and friends, show them how much they mean to you. Life is short and they are the ones that make interesting :)


I miss him, especially during the holidays but I am thankful to have had him as my father and I am very thankful to have my mother... He would be proud of us and truth be told I still feel him with me. I still hear his laugh and I still can feel his reassuring hand on my back when things get hard. I am thankful for everything I have been given and everything that is to come. I am thankful for all of you. Merry Christmas. I hope it is filled with family, friends, joy and laughter as well as a little but of magic.

Fatshion, come on ladies, you know what this is

This one is for my big girls... I have been "Plus Size" for about as long as I can remember, although I look back at photos of myself in high school and wonder why I thought I was big then, yes I had a little extra meat on my bones but back then I was a comfortable size 14/16. Average... now... well... lets just say that is no longer the case. The funny thing is that I am more confident now then I was much smaller. I think maybe that comes with age or maybe that comes with the fact that I decided that no matter my size I was going to do my best to look good! It also helps that retailers have figured out that us Curvy girls want the same things that the skinny girls want. WE want to look hot, fashion forward, put together and did I mention HOT!!?

It wasn't until I was 19 that I started embracing my curves and after that not until I was 21 or so before I felt confident. I still have my moments of insecurity as everyone does but I have learned to dress and accept what I am working with now. Do I want to change things? YES! Am I going to punish myself for being a curvy girl by dressing to hide myself? NO!!! I know so many women who won't purchase new things until they have made it to their goal weight or size. All that does is makes you feel like there is something wrong with you now. Be confident and secure in where you are. There are ways to look amazing at any size and with websites like eloquii.com and madisonplus.com. Two of my absolute favorite sites. Retailers are realizing that the average size woman in this country is a size 14+ and are now designing for a fuller figure!!! The days of the moo moos and over sized boxy clothing are GONE!! Bring on the FATSHION. Although.... I could use a bigger bank account as well. :)

Holiday Cheer

Happy Holidays!!! I know it has been a long time since I have written but there is something about a blog that seems so self important.I end up starting a post and then question whether or not my life is interesting enough for people to want to read about it. At the end of the day I guess it doesn't matter, so I will give a quick recap of the last 6 months.

I had the opportunity to go on an AMAZING trip to Europe with my family (minus my brother, he had to work :( WE missed you terribly Andy Panda!!) It was very surreal to be in standing in places like the Sistine Chapel and the Colosseum, places I have only ever seen in History books. We only had two weeks in Europe and covered a lot of ground. The first week was spent on a cruise which started in Civitavecchia (the main port for Rome) and from there we went to Messina(Sicily), Athens, Kusadasi (Turkey), Crete and then back to Civitavecchia. We spent two days in Rome seeing everything there was to see. One day to take in all of the sights and another to tour the Vatican. I took in so much information on the tours that it would take many post to share it all, at the end of the day Rome is beautiful and I would love to go back. From there we flew to London where we spent all of 16 hours. We walked around a bit and saw Big Ben, Westminster Abby and the Buckingham Palace. We also ventured to Harrods and did a little window shopping. That same afternoon we went to the train station and took the Chunnel to Paris, for those of you that arent familar with what the Chunnel is it is basically a high speed train that travels underwater for about 20 mins of the trip between the United Kingdom and France.

We arrived in Paris in the early evening and had an amazing dinner just about a block from our hotel, which was about a block from the Champs-Elysees and what I like to call the Round-about of death. Paris is GORGEOUS!! I could have spent two weeks just exploring the city, unfortunately we had about 36 hours... We walked to the Eifeel Tower and watched the light show which was awesome, stood outside of Notre Dame, drove by the Paris Opera House and took a tour of the city. I want to go back so badly. Also, just for the record, I did not come across one rude French person, they were all very nice. :) As much as I loved the trip it was nice to come home and get back into a routine.

Not much has changed on the home front. I have moved to a different part of town and lucked out with getting a great pair of roommates as well. Work is still going well and I am enjoying my job while hoping that I can transition into something with a little more responsibility. Life is good and the holidays are here which I love but they still do hold a little bit of sadness. I wish Dad was here but when I think about him I remember him with a smile instead of my heart hurting. In his honor I will be doing my Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve as per our tradition. I will not however be dressing up as Santa or one of his elves as my father did from time to time. :) Everything seems better this time of year, happier, magical. Good things on the horizon. Very, very good things.